Black

Gloomy, i must say, suasana hati saya akhir-akhir ini. Bukan suasana hati sih tepatnya, apa ya? Suasana hati yang menjelma menjadi karakter barangkali.

Saya merasakan perubahan, drastis. Do you ever feel that way? Kamu ngerasa sih, berubah gitu, tapi perubahan itu ngga bisa diberhentikan. Or you just lazy to resist the stream.

***

Kemaren-kemaren saya kerja bareng 20 orang. Mereka mengenal saya sebagai orang yang straight forward, tapi mereka minta saya untuk lebih pandai berbohong.

Begini, suatu hari, salah seorang kawan meminta kami untuk menilai performanya ketika bergitar sambil bernyanyi. Rupanya ia ingin mengikuti audisi talenta-talenta musik di televisi. Saya katakan saja sejujurnya bahwa suaranya tidak terlalu istimewa (tidak ada faktor X nya lah). Tidak lain niat saya justru untuk memotivasi dirinya untuk melatih karakter suaranya. Tapi teman-teman yang lain malah memprotes saya "Kamu jangan terlalu jujur gitu kali!" sambil tertawa-tawa. "Kamu kalo sama suamimu nanti gimana, pintar-pintar bohong sedikit" masih sambil tertawa tapi sedikit melotot. Saya pun tentu saja ikut tertawa.

I like people, people are weird.
They dont want the truth, they craving for lies.

***

Sore ini gelap, mati lampu
Saya menyukai kegelapan
I like how darkness hide us
My room is black, with yellow door
I dont see why my mother disliking me liking black.
She said, "warna kesukaan seseorang, menggambarkan hatinya"
Maybe she was right. I bet she is.

But here's the thing about black :

It pop out the other colour when it stand in front of black,

Black hide itself for the other colour to stand up and burst,

If black was a person, he'll be the every man behind the successful other man,

Just like a wingman, a bestfriend, a wife, a mother,

And when it comes to a black wall, it hide your brother's booger.

Sendirian Berdua

I want to go down the beach then read a book,
I want to go up the mountain then read a book,
I want to sip my hot chocolate then read a book,
I want to sit next to you, holding hands then read a book,

Let us be alone, together.

Not a single word, quietly quiet.

2

I once thought about how much reading can kill/vanish your originality. Try not to get influenced by other people, for we (i) easily memorised and copying others.

I hate motivators.

I think some people may be smart because they read too much, and some people maybe smart because they dont read too much. They read of course, but less. Maybe they rely on much practice, i mean like :

You want to know something, then you must emptying your brain from any theory and you configured yourself by practicing. If you failed, you not immediately look up on theory inside books, you just keep doing and practicing until you find the answer why it failed. That is smart, and inventor kind. But that kind of smart maybe only for our anchestors, when there s not so much invention, just like T.A.Edison.

Or maybe they are smart because they write journals. Journals of how they failed.